terrapinsanity.com

A Washington Post blog reports UM must offer fewer football scholarships to athletes because of declining academic performance as measured by some fairly standard national indicators.

No problem, says Coach Edsall, who promises to turn this around immediately.

Long-timers on campus have seen this movie before. We’ll soon have lots of program staff flitting about to ensure all instructors appreciate the importance of these students achieving high scores. Look for our assortment of classes-for-under-performing-groups-to-receive-cheap-A’s to double shortly.